so my group is over. our last call was last night and i am legit sad about it. i’ll miss my new friends, though we’ve vowed to stay in touch through our blogs, the facebook group molly set up for us, and of course, the twitters, as i like to refer to them. molly, by the way, is a new hero of mine. i don’t really have heroes, so this is kind of a big deal, but i think she’s fucking incredible.
i’m inspired to write about many of the things that we covered. and many things we didn’t. one at a time though, i suppose.
i bought a private journal. actually, the actress bought it for me as a birthday present, and i got to pick it out. it’s been a very long time since i attempted to journal outside of the public sphere – it was never about exhibitionism, but i just adjusted to the medium. my closest friends were here. any new friends i could make were here. i wasn’t afraid. i have grown some fear, that i’m working valiantly on getting over – but the real thing is, i need a space that’s free of pressure. the pressure of improvement, of positivity, of creating art. some have called me a writer and i have a difficult time claiming the title, but i would be hard pressed to say i have not found some of my deepest creative release with the written word. i need a space where it’s ok to write without metaphor, without regard for what people might think. i love my little journal. i picked a design that’s very me but also steps a little outside of my comfort zone in its design. i love exploring myself, uninhibited, in its pages.
there’s more to come, about a lot that’s gone down in my head and my world in the past few weeks. for now though, it’s time to go write in my little journal.