i’m of an age where sometimes now, i am older than other people were when i entered their lives.  i am of an age where i compare myself to that, where i think that means we’ve made movement, we’ve come someplace.

i am of an age where change and heartache and upheaval are abundant.  where we have all now experienced major and serious betrayal. where we are guarded.

i am of an age where there is really no normal anywhere, anymore.  i was going to use some terribly trite seed analogy but let’s not even get into those waters; let’s just simply say we started off the same and now, we are all so very different.

i live in a small apartment with peach walls (not my choice) and i have too many scarves hanging from a rack off the bathroom door.  i have too many things for this space, but it was what i could afford.  i don’t have a tremendous sense of interior design style and i’m insecure about it.  i love sushi and thai and indian food, but it was only in the past six months or so that i opened myself up to these exotic tastes.  i’m a late bloomer, in many ways, but then again not in many others.  i have always been a thinker, and a reader.

i am of an age where you’ve got to take stock again of what you are.  where you realize it’s entirely possible that you didn’t have a clue before, or hey, maybe shit happened and maybe that shit changed you.  an age where things start to feel much more real but there’s a definite sense of playacting, of a game.

i am of an age where you figure out what matters and what doesn’t, and adjust accordingly.  an age where you truly stop taking bullshit, and you are way more willing to consistently take out the trash.  where you finally start to realize that there are limits: limits to what you can take, limits to what you deserve, and limited time with which to deal with it all.

i am of this age.

 

 

 

Advertisements