i walked the train platform and i was thinking of writing of the things i believe in.
the first that came to mind was love. and then i realized that it’s not true.
it’s not that i don’t believe in love at all.
i don’t believe it’s the saving grace i once knew it to be. i believe it’s beautiful and fantastical and can and will lift your spirits very high, but it will not save your life. i don’t believe, wholeheartedly, in love. it has limits. i should clarify – the love from another person has limits. you are your only savior.
i believe in the truth. i believe in the truth even when it shreds you entirely. there is an honesty in the raw presence of deep pain that i have come to respect, even hold in high regard. no one desires it, but staring that shit in the face and not backing down is a feat, is powerful, and says much to who you are. there is an equal honesty in the openness of letting joy in, knowing it will fade, and breathing it anyway.
yes, if i choose something to believe in, i believe in the truth.