i remember this feeling from when i was nineteen
nineteen and supporting myself and someone else in a
one bedroom in a small development on the island
where i found a cat in the parking lot, lured her inside
i was disconnected back then.

i worked a good job that paid well
i worked sixty hours a week and lost my soul
lost my mind, really.
but i did good work and i was praised
i fell for it.

i fell for promises from a man with more money
than myself or my lover would probably ever
see at once.
he caught me, the hook sunk in and
he reeled quickly.

i fell for a false luxury and the ability to
buy shit.

so i see now, why my eyes should not glaze
why it does not matter
and why in the end, i deserve happiness.

i deserve a chance.