for one second, maybe two, the other day, i felt forgiveness.

that may be something that has never ever come through me before. call me bitter if you want. i hold onto things. i don’t know what i’d believe in, what would comprise the inside of me, if i did not hold onto things. we all need reminders. it’s a fine line between holding onto trinkets and dragging weight, so easy to cross.

i saw the past and the present and the harsh and the pathetic and none of it mattered because she was a human standing before me and more importantly than anything else, it is over. it’s over and the weight of giving a shit is a lot to bear. too much, sometimes, but mostly it’s chainlocked to me and no one gave me the key, until this moment. there is a human before me, just like me in so many ways, just like everyone else – and i felt the love of the past for a fraction of that time and my eyes almost filled up, but they did not and then, there was some tender soft emptiness. there was absence that was not negative and there was completion to it all.