Prompt: Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

i’m afraid to write about this. i’m afraid i will fall back and not do it. because i have, so many times so far. i get a push and i light a fire under my ass and i run for a day or two and then…things return to some sort of stasis, my fire goes out, and i sit. until the cycle repeats.

my next step is to figure out where i want to be professionally and how to get there. i’m feeling the monotony of returning to a desk every morning for almost four years, the problems of the organization i’m at wearing on me. i never chose my job – i fell into it and i got lucky. it encompasses many of my interests and there is possibility for learning, should i choose to take advantage of it. there is not, however, much possibility for growth.

i bought some books to help me think it all through. as cheesy as i felt buying them, they actually have very good advice, expanding upon my theory of – find what you are good and enjoy and find a way to do it every day. that’s a basic. that’s not a plan. and something the coinciding of your talents and your happiness is not so clear. i haven’t finished them though, and i haven’t done any of their workbook type activities. i should. and i will.

i joined a young nonprofit professionals network in nyc – and while i’m notified about events and have planned to attend a few, i haven’t. it would be an excuse to say they fell on bad days – even though they did – i should have powered through and gone. that’s also something i should do. and i will. i do want to stay in the nonprofit world, no matter where i may go.

the fact is, it’s really difficult to maintain happiness and positivity and joy when oftentimes, at least 40 hours of your week is consumed with things that stress you and confine you. i want to be happy to leave my house at least 80% of the time. currently, i’m not.

the answer might be school, it might be some sort of professional training that’s not school, it might be a new job. i honestly have no idea. but i have to get started on sorting it out. and that’s the next step i need to take.